Captivated
by TheAwesomeMortal
Summary: Light finds solace in the one person he shouldn't. However once a road is paved, the way back is always brittle and treacherous. Isn't it easier to just, carry on?


Light was enthralled.

It was a very unfamiliar feeling that he still wasn't accustomed to. Upon their first meeting, he'd expected a swirling combination of frustrated disappointment or disgusted resentment at an unworthy adversary. Or perhaps, someone who'd somehow acquired step ladders to higher society through other people's accomplishments. However, the predicted emotions never came to fruition because he couldn't have been more wrong. Instead, he was presented with a fascinating puzzle who he was captivated by.

He was a mess of a man whose appearance resembled an alikeness to the scum he'd see on streets but was by every definition, brilliant.

Never in his boring life had he encountered a person that was able to, not only catch his attention but keep it. Every day was a battle of wits that thrilled Light to the point of barbing and goading like a child in want of attention. He did anything to replicate a similar intellectual response that made his mind tingle and blood warm.  
However, it was one moment into this frequent dance of insults and hypothetical reasonings that he nearly forgot his purpose.

It was one moment too many.

 _Kira_. The voice had whispered, and so the game came to an end. Efforts were redoubled, schemes became complicated and dizzying, while the attraction was squashed between the floorboards of the mansion he called his mind.

All the while L remained oblivious. Or at least, Light hoped he did.

Days that once passed by like a speeding car slowed to hours that stretched for years. It was disconcerting. He hadn't realised how much he relied on the madman to keep him entertained. The silences once comfortable between them grew ugly and uneasy at Light's choice to remain unattached and loyal to his cause.

Then L had insisted on the chain.

Light was unsure how to feel. Betrayed certainly, but he had no right to be when they were never anything close enough to be called friends. He resolved to remain as distant as one could be to the object of their affections. The days slowed even more so; eventually stopping. He was made to sit still and watch the world carry on while he was suspended in time.

Solitary confinement began. Light only viewed this occurrence as a strategic move in the hopes that the screams of betrayal would be muted. The anticipated checkmate was met with acquiescence, although it didn't hurt any less. L became the only constant presence in those four walls of patient insanity, leaving him at a permanent stop sign. He didn't know how to continue. Every plan was discarded before they were fully formed, the only idea that stuck was met with unwilling stubbornness.

Light refused to give up ownership.

His memories were his most prized possessions. Nothing Ryuk said could convince him to give up what he valued the most, and so he was stuck indefinitely at L's mercy.

Those days were by far the longest. He waited on L's words like a parched man on rain. He tried to be busy. Thinking up other plans and possibilities, exercising until he stopped thinking and sleeping so he could no longer think. It was a harmful cycle. One which L apparently took notice of because a week after Light was tilting dangerously on the edge of sanity the cell door was unlocked.

It took him far too long to recover.

The chain was reintroduced and Light could breathe easier, plans had been postponed during his captivity but he was happy to have a sliver of freedom back. His relief contrasted strangely to L's sombre moods. The atmosphere was heavy and unsettling now that their lives were once again interlocked.

The weeks passed and Light became mentally centered again, although the memories of his confinement were haunting. He regretted finding solace in L during his capture, it was a drawback that he hadn't predicted and it seemed to have pried the floorboards of feelings loose. Now it was difficult to associate him with enemy territory.

They continued to live in an intrepid routine of monotonous daily life that focused around Kira, not romantic necessarily but domestic.

Light snorted softly into his palm at the amusing thought that brushed through his mind. Straightening his posture slightly on the expensive furniture, his straining eyes left the pile of documents in his hand to glance up at the television. Iris's flickered across the glaring screen, hoping something would appear which he could claim to be useful enough to get a much-needed break.

The faint clink of chains seemed to echo through the shared hotel room. The broadcasting news report cast a fuzzy spotlight that cut through the dark shadows. The sun had set hours ago and in the sun's absence, demons enticed by the darkness had crawled to the forefront of his mind.

Light had come to terms with his emotions awhile ago. They weren't something he locked away anymore, he realised suppression was a slow releasing toxin that would eat him from the inside out. So he accepted them instead. That didn't mean L would ever find out, he was very content to hide his affections until their battle of oneupmanship came to a grand finale. He simply didn't hide them from himself and that turned out to be good enough.

A muffled exhalation made its way through the barrier that was his hand; perturbed at the thoughts that occupied his headspace. His thoughts seemed to centre around one individual nowadays and, upon reflection, had been doing so since they'd met. Light discreetly shifted his eyes towards the other occupant of the couch.

Wide dark pupils stared into his own.

A cold chill zipped down his spine. In that moment of dim lighting and deafening silence, Light believed in the obscure saying that the eyes are the window to the soul. Everything was laid bare for the other to devour. No lies, for once. Lies that so often fell from Light's lips each day like a long-held note despite knowing he'd eventually run out of breath. Shameful, but it had become a way of life.

He swallowed, the sound minutely audible in the sudden stillness of the room. Underneath a gaze so intense it became difficult to breathe; his chest fluttered like a trapped bird. Suffocating him sweetly.

How could he not be infatuated?

"Light-kun is staring."

The monotone voice was as lovely as a summer breeze to Light, but the words held an undertone. They always did.

 _Are you Kira?_

Turning his head to the pointless documents in his hands Light laughed bitterly. The weight of disappointment unfolded in his chest, steadily compressing his lungs. Amber eyes glistened beneath auburn hair with regretful resolution and overwhelming affection. After all, a heavy burden to bear are feelings.

The papers were crushed beneath his grip.

"Yes L, I suppose I am."


End file.
